I promised myself when I embarked on a writing journey I would give myself permission to be flexible with it. That I would stretch my comfort zones and simultaneously not be too afraid to call something quits when I recognized it wasn’t working for me.
Well, here we are!
Something isn’t working for me. I am shifting.
Why It’s Important To Quit
Have you ever heard of the “sunk cost fallacy?”1
Basically the sunk cost fallacy is a mental narrative we are predisposed to which tells us we should keep investing time, energy, and resources towards something because we’ve already invested so much and if we walk away now all of that would be a waste.
This is a fallacy because—while devotion and commitment are important—investing more time into something that is no longer in alignment with you almost certainly guarantees that even if you get what you’re hoping to get out of that process, by the time you get it you wont actually want it anymore.
Sure, there’s some opposing social science to consider which essentially says the longer we’ve invested in something, the more meaningful it becomes. While I would agree with this on a value-based level, this is almost never true about specifics. Most science around achieving goals reminds us that we shouldn’t necessarily change the goal, but that we should never be afraid to change the tactic on how we achieve that goal.
Most importantly, the time we spend in our lives is precious. If we are no longer enjoying the process of something after giving it a set amount of time to try it on, at a certain point we are choosing to be miserable. If we force ourselves into this misery repeatedly we then continuously reinforce that creativity and growth comes out of being uncomfortable in a boring and monotonous, and sometimes even harmful way.
I for one, am not trying to start out this year by choosing misery on propose.2
I refuse to buy into the idea that my creativity can only come out of suffering.
Instead, I’d like to use suffering/boredom/monotony/burn out as an invitation to be more creative in my problem solving.
Iterative Learning
Another way to look at this type of “quitting” or “pivoting” is zooming out and re-labeling it as iterative learning.3 Iterative learning is the process of repeating an experiment, comparing notes to other similar experiments, and then re-working the experiment to try again in a new way.
When we’re feeling fun and dramatic “quitting” is definitely the right word.4
However, when we’re feeling sensitive to a longer story-arc of our own growth, trials, and errors—reframing a new approach into an updated process of iterative learning might be more helpful.
We are, after all, just in one giant experiment all the time.
Together We Pivot
Back in September, I shifted my approach and created the four main Substack segments you are probably already familiar with. They’ve gone a little something like this…
First Tuesday of Every Month:
If You Love What You Do…Writing about work rituals, value-based goals, embodiment practice. We’ll be aligning desires and dreams with behaviors to make them real.
Second Tuesday of Every Month:
Our Dirtiest WordThis writing day will be all about failure. Something I ‘messed up’, and what I learned from the process.
Third Tuesday of Every Month:
Every Rock On the River: The ArchivesThis writing day will be smaller shares of memoir pieces from my backcountry guiding experiences.
Fourth Tuesday of Every Month:
The Creatives Confessional (Paid Subscribers Only)This content will only be available to paid subscribers. It will be a raw look into where I’m actually at within my creative process.
Bonus Tuesdays:
Art, Poetry, PaintThis writing day will be sharing a completed piece of creativity.
I’ve actually really enjoyed this framework. It’s pushed me, and been achievable.
My main complaint is that I’m finding that I don’t have enough time to commit to these segments in a way that is also fostering continued creativity. While I am content with how they come out, I’m finding myself scrambling on last minute edits5, and publishing work that is “good enough” but feels more draining than regenerative. When I’m thinking about doing another quarter year with the same parameter I feel exhausted and put off by the idea, which is never a good sign for a long-term goal.6 Whenever we hit this point in our process it is a great time, however, to ask yourself the question:
“What about this process feels exhausting to me?”
I’m noticing as the winter is about to hit hard, I’m craving depth rather than breadth.
The idea about writing every week isn’t daunting, it’s writing so broadly.
The topics don’t bore me, but I’m feeling overwhelmed by my own tendency to ramble and dive down odd rabbit holes to get my point across.
So rather than fully axing the entire process I’m in—I’m going to follow the wisdom of a folklore story I love, The Three Golden Hairs.78 The gist of this story is that when you’re feeling tired, old, and burnt out, let yourself parse your process down until it refreshes you again.
I think I’ve got a fun compromise.
Here’s What You Can Expect In Our Next Chapter Together
As we enter into a new phase, I’m not actually going to switch topics. Instead, I’ll be switching tactics.
First Tuesday of Every Month:
If You Love What You Do…Writing about work rituals, value-based goals, embodiment practice.
We’ll be aligning desires and dreams with behaviors to make them real.I’ll be sharing about my own personal desires and dreams, and the rationale behind the methods and behaviors I’m using to bring them to life.As I dive into a more intentional year with work I am building, I’ll be reformatting slightly to focus on why I love what I do. Similar content, but more heavily focused on projects I’m building in real time and some of the scientific rationale behind the way I build them.9
Second Tuesday of Every Month:
Our Dirtiest WordThis writing day will be all about failure. Something I ‘messed up’, and what I learned from the process.
I’m actually really in love with this topic, but I’m heading into the seasonal depression time of the year and it doesn’t feel useful to hyper-analize myself this time of year. It kills my curiosity and ends up tasting something akin to self-loathing. Instead, I’ll be pivoting this segment into some creative form of expression around a mistake/failure/shortcoming. Sometimes I’ll give an explanation, sometimes I’ll simply share the art that came from the discomfort.
Third Tuesday of Every Month:
Every Rock On the River: The ArchivesThis writing day will be smaller shares of memoir pieces from my backcountry guiding experiences.
This has felt the most meaningful and I will thus, be keeping it exactly as is.
Fourth Tuesday of Every Month:
The Creatives Confessional (Paid Subscribers Only)This content will only be available to paid subscribers. It will be a raw look into where I’m actually at within my creative process.
So far I don’t intend to shift this either. I will start including discounts and early bird announcements to workshops in the footnotes for paid subscribers though.
Bonus Tuesdays:
Art, Poetry, PaintThis writing day will be sharing a completed piece of creativity.
Looking Forward To Growing Together
This has been such a fun journey so far. Thank you to everyone who reads, subscribes to, and shares my work. I’ve been learning so much about myself in this process and I’m truly grateful for everyone supporting me in big and small ways.
Can’t wait to see what we discover together next.
If you have feedback for me, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
<3 Dagny Rose
This has been January’s iteration of “If You Love What You Do…”
If You Love What You Do… is a monthly Pomegranate & Magpie substack segment that explores work rituals, value-based goals, and embodiment practice. I’ll be sharing about my own personal desires and dreams, and the rationale behind the methods and behaviors I’m using to bring them to life.
Especially since this year I am my own boss and there is no reason for me to be creating content I’m struggling to make because it’s feeling like a chore.
If you want to read a nerdy research paper on iterative learning in machine learning, look no further. If you’re more interested in a short human-based vignette, head here instead.
I personally love the feeling and closure of throwing an internal hissy fit with my own projects and yelling “I quit!” at nobody.
and often missing a few key typos and concept flaws!
My goal this year is to publish something once a week. Yipes!
Thanks to my friend Corrine for being so present with the story recently and reminding me of its continued wisdom.
If you’re interested in exploring stories like The Three Golden Hairs with me this winter, I’m doing another 16-week series of Women Who Run with the Wolves where we will be combining myth, art, and storytelling to move through the wisdom of wild woman archetypal myths.
I think what’s made this feel semi-exhausting lately is that I feel like I’m scrambling to make something “relevant” up to other people and I actually feel most inspired to talk about why i love doing what I’m already doing, and I’m such a nerd I for SURE have a reason behind it already. We’ll see if this shift works.
"If we are no longer enjoying the process of something after giving it a set amount of time to try it on, at a certain point we are choosing to be miserable." This line in particular really hit with me today. I have a long and painful history of staying in things that I should not be in for waayyyy too long. This year I plan to practice letting go. Thank you for this reminder!
Came here to say almost exactly what Angie said! Thank you, Dagny, for giving voice to the permission slip we all need. Excited to witness and ride these shifts with you 💕